Low self esteem can develop during early childhood to early adulthood, when experiences like punishment or abuse may have an impactful influence.
Individual and couples therapy can help individuals to understand negative patterns of thinking, identify issues that need addressing, and foster healthy self-esteem. Zencare’s Therapist Directory makes finding your perfect therapist easier – filter by specialty for help!
1. Feeling torn between choices
Individuals with low self-esteem typically struggle to identify and define their needs, depending on others for approval, being overly critical of themselves, ignoring compliments given, or generalizing from one negative event into an all or nothing mentality.
Individuals may have difficulty setting healthy boundaries with others. In order to feel valued by others, they often agree to every task asked of them – leading to stress, exhaustion and burn out.
Those suffering from low self-worth should take steps to address it. You can start by becoming aware of automatic negative thoughts and challenging them when they surface; here at PsychAlive we have articles, webinars and an eCourse specifically dedicated to learning how to stop self-criticism in its tracks.
2. Feeling incompetent
Lack of confidence can create feelings of inadequacy. This could prompt defensive tactics like shifting blame or dismissing unpleasant emotions as ways out.
Lacking the confidence to ask for assistance can be a telltale sign of low self-esteem. People suffering from this can often believe they don’t deserve help, which would waste people’s time.
At times they find it difficult to set clear boundaries and are easily influenced by friends or coworkers, feeling as though they must always please everyone and search for external validation as a sign of low self-esteem. This often leads to conflicts within relationships as well as hindering progress towards goals; as this is such an urgent matter it must be handled professionally.
3. Being afraid of failure
Low self esteem often results in fear of failure and self-criticism when things do go awry, while rejecting compliments as worthless. Psychologer Carol Dweck refers to this state of being as having a fixed mindset about failure which makes change difficult.
Your difficulty may also involve asking for assistance and prioritizing others’ needs over your own, leading to unhealthy relationships and relationships that ultimately fall short of expectations.
Forming positive relationships is one way to alleviate fears around failure, while seeking mental health counseling can also help change negative beliefs and habits that obstruct that process. Counseling may also help alleviate worries that failure will make you look bad while building resilience by practicing overcoming fear in safe environments.
4. Feeling like you don’t deserve love or attention
People suffering from low self-esteem tend to struggle more in creating healthy relationships. This may be because they feel obliged to say yes to requests from others while neglecting their own needs, leaving them feeling exhausted and stressed out.
Individuals experiencing low resilience often struggle to handle life’s difficulties and meet them head on. They may look for signs that they do not deserve love and attention and develop unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking too much alcohol or using illegal substances as ways out.
Thankfully, these feelings can be improved through daily practice and professional help. A therapist can show you techniques to reduce your inner critic’s character assassinations and negative thinking; plus they can assist in creating healthier and more resilient relationships between yourself and others.
5. Feeling like you’re not good enough
If you often feel as though it’s just you against the world, with problems more pressing than anyone else’s and feeling unworthy of good things in life, low self-esteem could be at play. Low self-esteem may result from any number of conditions or situations: failure, rejection or the death of loved one being just some examples; abusive relationships within family and friendship groups as well as negative patterns of behavior at work can all cause it.
When these thoughts arise, take notice and recognize how irrational and false they are. If you find yourself struggling with low self esteem, seeking counseling with a professional therapist could help identify what may be triggering those emotions as well as teach healthy coping mechanisms to address them.